Evey year I am faced with the same dilemma, to do the whole Christmas light thing or to save myself the pain and agony and give it a miss. This year I should have listened to the inner voice in my head that was saying “no, don’t do it. You are crazy”. Why? Well as a result I have a broken foot and have to spend at least 2 weeks on crutches.
First off I would like to say that lighting in general drives me mad. We can launch a space shuttle 9 times out of 10 and it won’t explode. We can build an international space station and people can live in it. You would think that we could make reliable lighting, nope. My pool light that is a mere 2 foot underwater floods all the time and the $50 globe blows (the last one was 2 years ago and I have not fixed it). Now the Christmas lights are a similar deal.
We bought new lights this year, three times because they were faulty out of the box, the first warning sign. We eventually had two working sets of lights. Great. So I hang the patio lights on Friday night and they are all working, that was a fluke. Then On Saturday afternoon I go to hang the lights out the front. I got about three quarters around when disaster struck.
So there I was standing on a plastic chair in the garden hanging lights just above my head and the front two legs of the chair snap clean off. That was behind me. So the chair collapses backwards and I go one way and my feet the other. I end up on my arse in the garden looking at my foot. I immediately notice that my 4th toe is not where I left it. Now there is a very small window of opportunity when you dislocate something. Before everything swells and it becomes impossible… I grab the toe and reduce the fracture and relocate the toe back into the joint. No it did not hurt, it was sort of “numbish”, uncomfortable yes pain; no.
So my foot is now killing me and I finished putting the lights up. Then we switch the lot on to make sure all is okay. Remember the lights that I put up on Friday… Only half are working! So we go to the shop and replace them. Put the new ones up again (that is light set number four). Don’t get me started on the whole blown globes thing or the fact that they change the design every year so the globes you got last year won’t fit this years.
So I had an Xray on Sunday (pays to know a radiographer) and had a Radiologist look at them and it turns out that I have a spiral fracture of the toe (no kidding) and a proximal fracture of the 4th metatarsal (See Diagram Below), nice one. Now I am laid up for at least two weeks at this stage. Check Xray then and we shall see. So now I can stay amused buy the ever changing colours of my foot, blue, black, red, yellow, purple…
If it ever crosses my mind next year please someone stop me from putting up the damn Christmas lights! But then it is for the kids and they love it, not sure it was worth the injury. Alternatively please someone make some bloody lights that work!
The moral of this story is ignore the urge to get festive and buy a good ladder!